Questions

This week has been rough.  I am feeling a bit lost.  The event planner in me is feeling like I need a new project, a party to plan or at least somewhere to be!

It’s the holidays and everyone else seems to have parties and places to go while we have nothing to do and no where to be.  Except today.

Today, Chip and I  have an appointment with our adoption agency.  To talk about what happened, to vent our feelings and to ask lots of questions.

And questions I do have!

Holding Maggie on Saturday morning.



The three days spent at the hospital were utterly exhausting. Not so much for lack of sleep but more for the emotional abuse we felt. 

Now, I am NOT saying we were actually emotionally abused. I am simply saying that is how we FELT.  It felt like our emotions were raked over a bed of coals while everyone else just stood there and watched.  Again, NOT saying our feelings are the truth just saying that is how we feel. 

And I want so badly to give you a list of  the questions most burning in my soul.  But after typing and re-typing the list for the last 30 minutes, I realized that it’s not that easy.
A quick list of questions with no explanation wouldn’t be fair.  It wouldn’t be fair to the agency, to you as the reader or to my own healing process.  A simple list of questions, without any explanation, will leave too much room for mis-enterpretation.

But oh how I would rather type a list than go back and relive each of those gut wrenching days! 

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7