But between now and then I have to pack for all my people, finish the laundry, clean the house (lest our house sitter think we live in total chaos and mess) and manage to watch a friend's kids for a few hours this morning.
I am starting to regret putting us on the 6:00am flight. Who does that?
The washer has been running non stop since yesterday. Where do all these clothes come from? I seriously contemplate making the kids where their bathing suits just so I can get ahead of all the dirty clothes. But then I remember that I already packed their suits. Maybe they could go naked?
I was up until 3:00am last night and I am not really sure if I ever actually went to bed. I vaguly remember crawling into bed and pushing the dog over. But the next thing I knew it was 6:00am and I was on the couch in the living room watching two red cardinals dance in the morning sun.
Last night was one of those times when my heart was stirring and my mind was whirling and all I could do was put pen to paper and write in my journal. God was on the move in my heart and I didn't want to miss not one moment!
I have been pondering the word radical lately.
What does it look like for me to live radically for Christ? Right here where I am.
Do you ever want more out of life? Do you ever think "this can't be it?"
I want radical.
I don't want vanilla.
I don't want to live in abundance while others are starving. I don't want to live free while others are enslaved.
But, how does one live radically here in North America when all she really wants is to move to Africa, adopt orphans and feed the starving?
It's a question being asked by lots of women. Ann is pondering and Katie is doing it and it's a question I desperately want answered.
But then there is my reality. I am knee deep in laundry, the dog has flees (again) and my daughter keeps following me around the house asking me to smell her dress. Smell her dress? The one you have on right now? If it's dirty by all means take it off!
No, No, she exclaims. The last time I wore this dress I was with Grandma and it still smells like her! I am just so excited to see her I can smell her!
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I have got a to-do list a mile long and I am swimming in the abyss of deep questions like living radical for Christ and my 6 year old is asking me to smell her. On the upside at least she didn't ask me to smell a rat.
At this rate the only thing radical about my life will be the fact that I have to wake my little people up at 4:30am to catch a 6:00am flight.
What does radical look like if we can't move to Africa? (you know, cause' our husband and kids live here?) What does radical look like if the abundance of North America is where God has placed us. For such a time as this.
I don't want another women's bible study on how to survive a "stressful" life.
I don't want to read another blog post on how best to juggle a hectic schedule and still manage to get a healthy "real food" dinner on the table.
I want to see big things happen in our world. I want to stop talking about it and start doing it. I want to wrestle with deep questions and boldly claim God's promises.
Sometimes it feels like being a Christian here in the US is all about political affiliation, commenting on the latest judicial rulings concerning abortion or expressing sorrow over the latest changes to the definition of marriage.
I don't want this vanilla life we call being a christian in North America. It's a life lived in the bleachers and I want in the game.
Living radical. It's what I will be pondering over the next couple weeks or months. And I would love to have you accompany me on the journey. Because a journey isn't much of a journey if it can't be shared.
Do you ever wonder the same thing? Have you figured out living radical?
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