On the Road Towards Adoption

The Choice
Well, I guess this marks our official start in the journey towards adopting a child (or children!).  We have always known we wanted to adopt, we just had no idea that as God ordained it...adoption would be the only option open to us if we wanted to increase our family.

For the last two years we have gone back and fourth on whether or not we actually wanted to pursue adoption. Sometimes it seems as though Sydney should be "enough." Why should we want more?  How could we have the audacity to ask God for more when some couples are still waiting for their first?

But then there were times when the hand that life as dealt us seemed so unfair.  There are so many families that have 2, 3 or even 4 children and it is only by choice that they don't have more.  And the couples with infertility issues?  I know that road is cluttered with pain and hardship as well, but at least they have a chance!  Know what I mean?  At least there is a possiblilty that the miracle of life could happen.  With me?  Not so much.  No uterus, no baby!

People don't realize how hard it is for me sometimes as I watch other families with more than one child.  Watching siblings play together or hearing mommy talk about how she took her  "kids" to the zoo.  I just take Sydney.  I don't get to take kids.

And then there are the couples in church who already have 2 children, but they desperatley want a third.  They petition the church family for prayer nights and fill the prayer request sheet at Sunday School with monthly updates on negative pregnancy tests.  My heart wants to scream out, "Be happy with what you have! At least you have a chance to get pregnant."

But in the end, I know that everyone has their struggles.  And it is no less painful struggling to conceive your third child as it is your first.  Just seems easier sometimes!

Bring It On!
And then for a while it seemed like we wanted to pursue adoption more than anything, believing that God had another child out there for us.  But there was always the money issue. 

We don't have thousands of dollars to spend, even with the Adoption Tax Credits you still have to be able to shell out the money up front.  Where would we get the money? We don't have a 410K or any retirement money to borrow from.  Those got liquidated to help offset medical bills during that "bad" year of 2007.

How could God call us to adopt but not provide the money? That doesn't make any sense.  So we thought about it, prayed about it and asked God for a revelation.  And here is what he made known to us:

Money and wealth are not a pre-requisite for having children or being parents.   Money is NOT and will NOT be our God.  Our circumstance cannot be a sole factor in our decision making....ever! Our circumstance does not dictate what God is doing in our lives.

Show us the Money!
We often thought to ourselves, "Ok God, we know you want us to adopt and we believe you will provide the money.  So please provide the money....we are ready!" 

But then NOTHING, no lottery winning, no salary raise, no inherited money from dead realitives, Nothing.  Nada. Zilch!

So we took matters into our own hands.  We thought of ways to earn the money, save the money, raise the money.  I mean, look who you are talking to?  I am the queen of fundraising at the grass roots level.  But still nothing was happening.  We were no closer to beginning the actual adoption process than the day we began to think about it.


Then it hit us.  We need to move. We needed to physically move towards something. We needed to walk in a direction, any direction, believing that God would provide.

Peter didn't walk on water without first getting out of the boat. God didn't part the Red Sea until Moses first raised his staff. (and even then it took all night to part those waters! )

More often than not, God answers our prayers for direction and provision only after we take a step forward. Sometimes I don't even think it matters which way we step, it just matters that we move.

We had been waiting for God to provide the money we needed before we went any further. But what we realized is that God wanted us to proceed forward without the money.  He wanted us to take the next step without all of the answers, without knowing how or when he would provide!

It says in the bible that his word is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.  But what we were asking for were nighttime stadium lights! Know what we are talking about?

We (at least I did) wanted giant stadium lights to light up our path.  Wouldn't that be way more efficient?  Just give me so much light that I can't not know where to turn? Not so much, God continues to give just what we need for the next little step or even shuffle!


 Moving Forward
So again we decided to adopt.  But this time we took a step forward.  We asked around and got recommendations on agencies to use.  And you know what?  God showed up!

Several close friends recommended the same agency and we knew God was telling us where to apply.

So we we requested an information packet and were delighted to find out that with this particular agency we had chosen did not require a fee for the pre-application.  Most agencies we had come across charged a nominal $250-$500 just to turn in the paperwork.  Yikes!  But not this agency, the pre-application was FREE!

So again, we stepped out in faith.  We filled out the 8 pages of the adoption pre-approval paperwork. And put it in an envelope to be mailed.

I took the envelope in the car with me that Tuesday, intending to drive Sydney to Mother's Day Out and then to drop it off in the mailbox on the way back into the neighborhood.

But I never quite made it to the mailbox that day...at least not with the papers for the adoption agency .(and you will have to check back later for the rest of the story!)