I See You (First Step to Your Promised Land)

I See You

These three little words sit in the back of my soul, in the deepest parts, and they nag me raw.

I See You

I think of the little girl in elementary school swayed into submission by bulley girls. Pining to be liked yet never feeling like she fits in.

 Her size 8 shoe in 5th grade, her aversion to wearing anything other than sweat pants, her insecurity at not being cute enough.

I just wanted someone to say "I See You."  I wanted an adult to offer to rescue me, to see my situation, to see me.

 Then came Middle Schools.  Those were years of true bliss hell.  The years that no woman would dare repeat not even for all the money in the world.

If I could spare my daughter from one season of her life, I choose the middle school years.  Repeating middle school in place of my daughter would be the same as taking a bullet for her.

"Hairy Sherrie" that was my name.  Yep.  I just said it out loud.  Boys are ruthless aren't they?  And lucky for me,  it continued through high school.  It didn't help that I had braces for….wait for it…7 years.

Does anyone see me? Do you see what I am living through?

In the beginning, I had big dreams, lofty ambitions.  A veterinarian, an orphan advocate working in a remote village in Africa, a broadcast journalist. What was your dream?

 I believed that I had something to give, that I could change the world.  But like waters rubbing the canyon rock away, my life experiences and the resulting insecurity wore me down.

Until just a shell of who God intended for me to be was left.

Somewhere along the way I bought into the lie that says I am not worthy.  And once I bought the lie the rest tumbled like a house of cards.

Me...have a story to tell?  (No way, I am not special enough)

Be a broadcast journalist?  (Definitely not pretty enough.  My spelling sucks)

Dedicate my life to advocating for the less fortunate?  (what a waste of time, get a J-O-B)

I am grown now.  And I know better.  And there aren't anymore boys to call me "Hairy Sherie" just one boy who loves me the way that I am.  (and for the record, by the time I got to College, the boys…they wised up!)

As I have studied his word and let it marinate in my soul, my mind has begun a holy restoration.  He is restoring me and bringing the dead parts back to life.

But there is much work to be done.

If we are to be used by him, if we are to change the world for Him, if we are to bring him much glory we must start with the unveiling of lies.

This my friends is where our promised land begins.

What lies are you believing?

I have a story to tell.  You have a story to tell.  And God…he sees us!