A Cure

As Chip and I sat in the doctor's office, staring at yet another doctor claiming to know exactly what was wrong with me, we both looked at each other with a familiar look. "Here we go again!" we both thought. Would I be bi-polar? Maybe there was a new anti-depressant on the market that the drug reps were pushing? Or maybe this new doctor had his own concoction of vitamins he wanted to sell me?

This time was different. Within 60 seconds of reading the paperwork that I had submitted to the receptionist, Dr. Wheeler said he knew exactly what was wrong with me. There were no lengthy explanations (at first) or medical jargon I didn't understand. And thankfully no mention of psych meds or vitamins. He simply said that I needed a total hysterectomy.

Now I know to some reading this, a hysterectomy sounds severe and kind of "out there." But to me, it was an almost immediate sense of relief. When Dr. Wheeler said those words, it was like someone finally "got it." After a year of pouring my heart out to every doctor I could find, after a year of trying to explain that my depression and anxiety had something to do with my period, after being told that I was crazy, after being told that I needed to learn to get on with my life, a doctor finally got it!

I think I was the happiest woman alive ever to be told that she needed a hysterectomy. Where did I need to sign? I would have let him wheel me into the operating room that day...unfortunatly that couldn't happen! But we did start the process of shutting down my hormones that day and since that day, I have never ever had another bought with anxiety, depression, craziness, sleeplessness, etc.

There is more to the story then just the cure. Like a soldier that comes back from war, I was dealing with life after my own "war" and fight to save my life. Post traumatic stress was very much alive and well and now I found myself in a new journey. A new journey to learn how to live again.

I will keep writing, if you keep reading!