Which Way To Turn?

As you can probably relate, I was really sick and tired of going to see doctors that just didn't get it or doctors that didn't care enough to get it or doctors that just weren't qualified to get it! How could I do this any longer? I felt like I was aimlessly walking around in the desert with no compass, no map, just armed with my own devices to make decisions...or so that is how it felt.

The fear that I felt from having to make all of these decisions was overwhelming. What if I chose the wrong direction? What if there was a doctor out there that could help me, but I am just not making the right choice? What if I choose the wrong way to turn and I am never healed? Can you relate at all?

Well, I have some good news that I think will encourage you or at least it has encouraged me.

On a side note, you really should check out Beth Moore's Bible Studies. I am learning so much and this is where God gave me this little bit of truth that has helped me to reconcile part of last year. It has helped me to make sense of my year long search for help.

I know we don't have time to get into all of the details. But in the book of Esther there is this really evil guy...Haman. And Haman hated the jews and he decided he was going to kill them all. So of course, what do you do if you want to kill a whole group of people? Well you have to decide what day to do the deed, of course! Sure, that makes sense.

Ok, so to make a long story short, Haman cast lots (flipped a coin, threw some dice, etc) to calculate what day he would have the Jewish people destroyed. Wow, if it wasn't already bad, now murder was coming down to a random day determined by throwing some dice.

What is the good news in all this, you might be wondering? Well, in Proverbs 16:33 it says:

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord."

You see Haman did throw dice to determine what day the Jewish people would be murdered, but God actually was in control of those dice. God determined how the dice would land, God determined the day that was picked. (Incidentally, God did have a plan and the Jewish people did not perish)

Lest you fail to see my oh so confusing piece of encouragement, it is this. God is in control! Even though I felt like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to decide what doctor to see, what advice to take, what treatments to pursue...he was really controlling the dice. Even though it all seemed so random, pointless and directionless...God was really making those decisions. He was the one that was guiding me.

So don't let the fear of making decisions paralyze you. Keep going, keep pressing on and don't worry about making a huge mistake. Don't give up looking for help just because the road is long and seemingly un-ending. Remember the truth.