(These are my new favorite shoes. Don't you love them? )
I wanted to write an update on our Adoption Process Journey. Recording my recent conversations with God seemed to be the most efficient way to do that! So here goes![Me]
Lord,
I really don't like waiting. In fact, I hate it. You made me to be passionate and passionate people aren't good at waiting. It stifles us. It stifles ME! Not to mention it just seems inefficient if you ask me!
Why do we have to wait?
We know we want to adopt.
- I have a bedroom room ready. AND it's calling to me each time I walk by. It says "Decorate me, decorate me!".
- Sydney is ready for a brother or sister...
- Chip has finally decided he's ready...
- I was born ready!
Not to Change the Subject....
We found out two weeks ago that the mandatory PRIDE class (you know the class we we must attend to be able to legally adopt from CPS?) will not be starting until the end of February.
Seriously...that is not how I had it planned out!
What's the Point?
Now as it stands, we won't be finished the class until May.
Waiting only leaves time to question, to stress, to over-analyze. Let's get 'er done...before anyone changes their mind!
[God]
Many are the plans in you heart, but it I (the Lord) who determines your steps.. (Proverbs 16:9)
[Me}
Yeah yeah, I Got it!) I have to wait...to figure out what you want....what you think is best. BUT while we are chatting....I also found out that one of my worst "adoption related" nightmares might be coming true.
[God}
Ummm....I don't deal with "might be." I don't make provisions to accomodate your mights and your what ifs. How silly would that be? I give you what you need....for this moment, for just the next step.
So let's get back to your issue with waiting. That seems to be working better for us at this point.
[Me]
Exactly Lord. this is what I'm saying. It doesn't work for me. This "what if" could really happen!
Not only do I have to wait to start the silly adoption class, but now CPS is saying that Chip's past arrest record "might" be a problem!
On the application, we were told that arrest records were not a problem. That arrest records were fine as long as their were no felonies listed. And Chip has NO felonies (in fact he wasn't ever convicted of anything). What happened to innocent until proven guilty?
[God]
Anyone who belongs to me is a new person. The old life is gone, the new life has begun. (2 Corinthinans 5:17)
The Curse
[Me]
Yes Lord. This is exactly why I am ticked off! Now not only have to WAIT to start the adoption class, but now they are saying we might not even get approved!
That is just a heap of ridiculousness if you ask me. Why shouldn't we be allowed to be parents just because Chip made some bad choices when he was younger.
Now we are being punished....almost cursed due to past events. When will it end? What can we do?
Let's get 'er done!
What do you think about raining down fire on the CPS offices? I'm not talking total destruction....just enough to burn up his arrest record and what not? Maybe like the day before the social workers must make a final ruling on our case?
[God]
I love your enthusiasm...but no.
[Me]
Ummm...what then? What do we do. What should
But don't tell me to just sit here. To be passive. To cross my fingers and say a prayer. That is not how you made me. That is not why you gave me this fighter spirit Lord. So if not fire....then what can I do? Let's get 'er done!
Yes, Let's Get 'Er Done!
[God]
Oh, is it my turn to talk now? Are you done getting all ralled up?
How about I throw so me truth into the mix? The Lord your God will turn the curse into a blessing because he loves you. (Deuteronomy 23:5)
Please note: I said "I" would do that. Not you.
[Me]
(the sound of crickets.......)
this is how they look from where I stand! Still love them!
Promises
[God]
You see....if you didn't have to wait. If it was easy for you to adopt....if you could do it on your own......then you wouldn't be a conqueror. Remember my promise to you?
I promised that if you remained in me....you would be more than a conqueror! (Romans 8:37)
I promised that you would be a winner. But in order to be a winner...you must first have something to risk losing. In order to be a conqueror. You must first have something to conqueror.
[Me]
Ughhh.....I hate it when speak truth to me...haha! I don't have time for it....I am way busy stressing out.
[God]
You know your tenatatios spirit? The one that makes it really hard for you to wait? The one that drives you to get things done, to be unrelenting about whatever it is you are passionate about?
[Me]
Is this a trick question?
[God]
Well, I gave you that spirit. That passionate spirit that I gave you will lead to blessings. You CAN and WILL do amazing things. (amazing things that not all my children will be able to do.) You have already seen evidence of that in your life.
But you have to wait. You have to long for me. (Isaiah 30:18)
And then I will bless you. Because I long to bless you. Because I too am passionate!
Crystal Clear
So you will wait. And I will do my thing. I will turn your curses into blessings.
I will part the sea in front of you. I will turn the tables and take what was meant for evil and turn it into something beautiful.
And then you will realize once again....that maybe the tables were never really turned in the first place. That perhaps they were always set in your favor.
And it will all be to MY GLORY.
[Me]
Can I just sit a while...with you and with the truth? I like it here. How exactly did we even get on this topic again?
I love being a winner! I say bring it on! Let the games begin! Let my God show you what he is made of!
[God]
(smiling and shaking his head)
[Me]
Same time tomorrow?
And one more thing. When I stress out again? When I let fear rule my heart? Will you just play back this conversation to me in my head? Kinda like instant replay?
I'm thinkin' it will save some time. Cause I really don't like to wait......
(see how you can change out the embellishment on them?)
No comments :
Post a Comment
Speak Your Mind!