Where is my miracle? Part 1

This is a question I asked many times that year and I still sometimes ask it today. It would be so simple wouldn't it? God could have just made all of the pain go away, he could have restored my mind with just one simple command. But he didn't. Even after thousands of prayers from friends, family and strangers, God chose not to dramatically intervene the way I wanted him to. Do you ever wonder that same thing? Are you waiting for God to hear your prayer,snap his fingers and change reality?

If you answered yes, you are not alone. Of course we know he can do it. He parted the Red Sea, turned water into wine, closed the mouth of the lions for Danielle, healing the lame...there is no question about it, God could do it. But then why doesn't he do that for us?

After spending a year or so in the pit, here is my profound and insightful answer to that question. Are you ready? Here goes.



Question: Why doesn't God perform a miracle and heal us right now? Answer: Because God is God and I am not. (ughh...I hate that answer.) And most of the time he chooses not to work through outright miracles. I know you are just blown away by my theology on that one...but nonetheless, it is true.

God is God and we won't always understand everything he does or why he does it. And the sooner we accept that truth, the better off we will be. Now, I am not saying we shouldn't pray for healing. Don't get me wrong, I spent hours upon hours begging God to heal me, begging him to restore my life. God calls us to pray without ceasing. But I wonder if our expectations of what answered prayer looks like is just a bit off. I know that after visiting with the almost 20 doctors and 5 counselors over the course of that year, many times I was left wondering why God hadn't answered my prayer and just healed me.

But what if the answer wasn't going to be one magical moment that zapped me back into good health? What if the answer to my prayer was fulfilled by a process, a bunch of little steps put together to make one big journey...all leading to eventual healing. I wonder...if I had waited for God to appear with lightening bolts out of the sky, would I still be waiting for healing?

Ummm...just a little something to think about before you go to bed tonight. I have lots more thoughts on this topic and don't you worry, I will be sure to tell you what other deep and spirtual things I learned. But for now, lets just meditate on this thought...Are we so focused on waiting for God to appear that we are missing him?

I wanted God to heal me with the speed and magnitude of this lightening bolt. I wanted it so bad, I prayed for it, I begged for it, but I didn't get it.