My Search for Help

 On October 3, 2006  I gave birth to a precious baby girl.  Life for me that day was nothing short of perfect.  Sydney Hope was finally here!  The sweet baby girl that I had prayed for, hoped for and planned for was finally here, asleep in my arms.

The days and months following Sydney's birth were filled with promises of joy and laughter.  Sure there would be lots of sleepless nights.  And yes there would be those 60 pesky pounds of  baby weight to lose. (A big thank you to Sonic without whom my baby weight would not have been possible!). And for sure, the physical pain that comes from birthing a 9.9lb baby, (NOT by C-section if you catch my drift), will SIT with me for a long time, no pun intended!  But it was nothing I couldn't handle.  Women had been having babies since the beginning of time.  It was all par for the course!  


Little did I know that within just 5 days of bringing Sydney home from the hospital, my life, my very existence as I knew it would be over. My world would be shattered into a thousand pieces and I would enter into a pit so deep and dark I knew not which way was up.  It was a darkness that would last for almost a year.

In the year following Sydney's birth, I would meet with more than 15 doctors from all across the country.

They said I just needed to hold my baby more.They said it was all in my head.
They said I would be heavily medicated for the rest of my life.
They said I needed to divorce my husband.
They said I had deep repressed issues that had surfaced with the birth of my baby
They said I might have to live my days elsewhere and not at home

I would be prescribed more than 25 different medications. I would rack up more than 70K in medical debt.

I would spend three weeks, voluntarily checked in to a hospital.  I would participate in an intensive counseling program.  I would under go ECT (Electric Shock Therapy).  And yes it is as bad as you think! 

Yet nothing compared to the day I had to send my daughter away to live with relatives in a different state. I couldn't take care of her anymore and I didn't know when or if I would get better.

This is the story of MY search for help.  MY search for someone that would listen.  MY search for a rescuer. 


I tell my story so that others may hear. So that others may hear and see a God who is mighty to save.  A God who rescued me long before this year from hell.

I tell my story in hopes that I could help just one woman. One woman who might be experiencing the same thing. Or any woman who wonders if she is meant to be whole.  Or any woman who wonders if she is worth fighting for.  I tell my story for all of them. For all of you.

And the answer is Yes by the way.  Yes you are meant to be whole.  Yes you are worth fighting for.  And Yes you have a future away from darkness. 

I am so thankful to each and every one of you for taking the time to read my story. If there is anything I can do for you...pray for you, listen to you...anything, please leave a comment or email me at shareemorris@comcast.net.

 You can read my story in one of two ways:

Option 1
Go back to the homepage, scroll down on the right-hand side and click on the words:
"Searching for Help" (40)
This will bring up all of the posts about my Search for Help and you will be able to read the story from start to finish (only if you want to of course!)

Option 2
Find a particular post in my story by choosing a title below: (they are listed from start to finish)

My Search for Help

The Blessed Event
First Signs of Trouble
Doctor's Visits - The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
First Stop- The OBGYN
October-January
Next Stop...Crazyville
My Bitter Soul
A Husband's Perspective
A diagnosis of bi-polar?
Protect Your Mind
Praying for You
The Hormone Clinic
What Kind of God?
Brand New Morning
Dr. Doolittle with an Ego
Hormone Clinic-Part 2
How Much Hope is Enough?
Recap!
Dark Days
A Note From My Mom
A Note from Tami
Thoughts from Kerrie
Where is My Miracle - Part 1
Where is My Miracle - Part 2
A Note to Friends
You Are a Good Mom
Postpartum Takes Courage
I Get Knocked Down
The Endless Road
Which Way to Turn
This Will Not Destroy You
Could This Be the One?
Truth Before I Go On
Final Thoughts 
The Cure (recently updated)
Thoughts from a Dad
So Where Was My Miracle
Why Do We Pray

October 2006

November 2010

I want you all to know that this story is just a small part of who I am and what this blog is about. I don't talk about these events or dwell on it every day. I am now living my dream of being a normal mom...living normal days with my family and trying desperately to find my talent in life!


I pray that my experience would not have been in vain. I pray that God would allow me to be an acceptable steward of HIS story and what HE chose to do through me and my family.