Doctor's Visits - The good, the bad, the ugly (mostly bad and ugly!)

Ok, so I admit it...I have been procrastinating writing anymore of this story. Now is the hard part...remembering and re-living all of the details. I am struggling with whether or not to give you all of the nitty gritty details and risk boring you. It would be a lot easier to just give you a nice neat over-view and be done with it. But after much thought and prayer, I have again committed myself to divulging all of the details. I have hopes that there is healing for me and empowerment for others...information is a powerful tool.

Let me make some disclaimers that I will probably repeat over the next couple of weeks. I am not a doctor nor do I claim to be. I do however, believe that my story and my struggles have given me the right to voice my sometimes strong opinions. I am not attempting to give anyone specific medical advice rather I see my job as giving you the truth about my experience, how I was treated and what did or did not work for me.

Throughout the course of the next several blogs I will describe to you in detail all of the doctors that treated me at some point over the entire year. If my opinion is unfavorable, I will not use their real names in the blog, but you can always email me to get the information (just in case you live in the area and want to steer clear)!

Even though I am now (2 years later) able to look back and find small bits of humor in the time I spent trekking through the mud and mire of that year, I can assure you that it was not always this way. At the time, it was hands down the most terrifying, pathetic, exhausting and confusing experience of my life.

Even as I write this I wonder why God didn't just lead me to the right doctor from the very beginning. He could have done that. He knew exactly who I needed to see, he could have spared me and my family the agony and the heartache. I have a lot of questions, not a lot of answers.

I can't tell you why God doesn't step in and intervene. I can't tell you what the real role of prayer is in our lives. Is it to actually change events or just change our hearts? But one thing I can tell you is that God is a promise keeper. Now don't start calling me a geeky christian just yet! God being a keeper of his word does not make your situation easier. It does not take away the pain you are feeling. And if you are suffering from postpartum it does not make up for the fact that you have lost moments and time with your kids. Trust me, I know.

But I hope that you might find some encouragement today that God is a keeper of his word. Romans 8:28 says that God works all things for good for those that love him. I used to hate when people quoted this verse to me. What did they know? They were getting to spend time with their babies. They were getting to have a normal life, yeah, easy for them to say!

So until you can see God's promise come to life, just keep moving forward. My hope and prayer for you is that God would give you at least one friend in your life that would climb down in that pit with you and believe in God's promises for you.

So here goes! Here is my account of the almost 20 different doctors, 4 clinics, 2 hospitals, 10 or so counselors, 1 prayer healer, 1 emergency room visit, and some other scary stuff we will talk about later!