If you are one of my new sisters and are struggling with post partum...severe or mild, I am praying for you. I feel so honored that God is calling me to pray for you., it is an honor that I don't deserve.
Last night I baked cookies with Sydney. They were so yummy, chocolate chip with heath bar crunch! I was struck at what an amazing moment it was to share with her....just over a year ago I only dreamed of doing such ordinary things with my daughter. We had such a sweet time, laughing and eating lots of dough. I just love her so much.
I want you to know that my heart breaks for those of you who have lost precious time with your children. I was just sharing with a good friend last night that this is not how God intended for your first months or years to be with your children. I also want you to know that despite the trials you are facing right now, you are a GOOD mother. God hand picked you for your child. Your life may not be perfect, you may not be able to do all of the things that the "normal" moms are getting to do, but you are still a good mom. Don't let anyone tell you different.
During our struggle, we had some family members tell us that Sydney was "so delayed" and behind in some of her cognitive development. This was NOT true but at the time it rocked me to the core. It is just amazing what the enemy will use to discourage you and "who" he will use. This was one of those times that God was teaching me to seek the truth and consider the source. Everywhere I turned that year I had to be purposeful about seeking what was true.
Be encouraged. You WILL get better. You WILL be yourself again. You WILL be the mom you want to be.
There were many times when I was able to take comfort in this verse.
"God promises to repay you for the years the Locusts have taken." Joel 2:25
This promise does not make your life more manageable right now. It doesn't take away the pain. But I can tell you from personal experience that God always keeps his promises...it is true. You will get your time back.
I am claiming his promise for you and for me.
precious!
ReplyDeleteI can't say thank you enough for writing about postpartum depression. When our daughter was born I had awful depression and I feel your pain. It brings back memories, 18 years later.
ReplyDeleteI still look at pictures now and can't remember much about them. You are doing the right thing even if it is hard. Thanks for being so open.
Thanks for being so open on the subject of postpartum depression. I have a 18 year daughter, which is our joy. But I never thought I would make it through her first year of her life. Reading your blog brings back memories and now realize that I wasn't the only one. Thanks so much and keep up the writing, I only wished I had your writing back then. Thank you, your a blessing.
ReplyDeleteLori,
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing to me that after all these years, the memories of your experience are still so real. Thanks for sharing. It is nice to know others that have shared this trauma but who have been able to move on!